While driving through Phnom Penh one night with a friend at about 11:00 pm I saw a large crowd gathering on the side of the road near the newly built Dragon Bridge and Gardens which links Wat Phnom to Norodom Boulevard. Instinctively, I presumed there had been a traffic accident. However, as I drew closer, it became clear that there had been no crash. So what was all the commotion about? Intrigued, my friend and I stopped and listened for a while.

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It turns out that one young man in his early twenties had stopped his motorbike on the side of the road and urinated on the newly constructed park lawn. The soldiers, who were guarding the bridge and gardens, took exception to this man’s actions and had confronted him. They pointed vigourously at signs which read haam noam. This, loosely translated into English, means 'No Urinating'.

The soldiers, it turns out, had been assigned to this area in an effort to keep the park clean and to stop anti-social behaviour, such as prostitution, drug abuse and unwanted grass sprinkling. The soldiers demanded the man pay a fine for his misdemeanour, but the rogue urinater refused. He, along with the other onlookers, was absolutely appalled and disgusted at this new law. They protested that their human rights were being trodden on. Urinating in public is a Khmer tradition which predates the great Angkor Wat temples, they argued. It has allowed men to proudly flaunt their disregard for both decency and hygiene taboos for centuries.

The debate dragged on for more than ten minutes without an amicable settlement. At this stage I was getting rather bored, so I scuttled off without knowing the final outcome.
 

The incident, however, got me thinking. What if this happened to me? What if this happened to an unsuspecting expat or tourist? It occurred to me then that the ability to read the haam noam Khmer script was an invaluable asset in Cambodia. It could end up saving you from some serious embarrassment.

This theory of mine was further strengthened a few weeks after, when I saw the sign again.

No Pissing. The Dog’s Pissing Area.

It became clear to me then that, not only could knowledge of this infamous script save you from embarrassment, it could also save you from DEATH!

On this faithful day, while driving near Psar Thmey, I was so surprised at what I saw that I turned back to get a second glance and nearly crashed my motorbike. Some kind-hearted, good Samaritan had spray-painted the words haam noam on an electricity box.

It struck me then that there must have been an unfortunate event which caused someone to write such a warning. I can only presume that some toothless country hilly-billy came to the ‘Big City’ one day and, having never seen an electricity box, decided to relieve himself onto the 200+ volts of mains. I can't even imagine the pain he must have felt as the current crawled up his little trickle and surged into the top of his little todger. It's a sensitive old part of the body at the best of times, so I can only imagine the state it ended up looking like. OOOhhhh!!

Cursed Person. No Pissing.

It was a tragic way to leave this beautiful earth and a serious contender for a Darwin award. So the moral of the story is - if you only learn one piece of Khmer script while in Cambodia, make sure it’s this one:

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May 6, 2008